SLOP500 Index Methodology

The SLOP500 Index measures the performance and cultural significance of 500 systemically important synthetic-content assets across global digital markets.

The index is designed to serve as the definitive benchmark for the synthetic-content economy, providing institutional participants, academic observers and Facebook aunts with a transparent, rules-based measure of the volume, reach and anatomical accuracy of AI-generated garbage.

The index is maintained by the SLOP500 Index Committee (the Committee), which meets quarterly, or whenever it is unable to look away.

The index seeks to represent the investable universe of synthetic content that has achieved systemic importance, defined as content that continues to be distributed after the audience has been told it is not real.

The index does not seek to represent quality. Quality is a removal criterion (see Section 7).

A constituent may qualify for inclusion where it satisfies one or more of the following:

1. 3.1possesses an incorrect number of limbs;
2. 3.2demonstrates significant Amen-adjusted engagement;
3. 3.3contains food structurally fused with a human being;
4. 3.4depicts an elderly person claiming to have constructed something physically implausible;
5. 3.5contains malformed written language;
6. 3.6combines unrelated animals, appliances or military vehicles;
7. 3.7has achieved substantial Facebook-aunt penetration;
8. 3.8displays material Italian exposure;
9. 3.9consumes an unreasonable quantity of compute relative to cultural value produced;
10. 3.10has been reposted with the caption “Beautiful cabin crew”;
11. 3.11depicts a child performing economically implausible labour;
12. 3.12contains at least one crying cat;
13. 3.13provides no meaningful benefit to humanity.

Satisfaction of the final criterion alone is not sufficient for inclusion, as it would admit a substantial proportion of human-generated content.

Index weighting is calculated using Float-Adjusted Engagement Capitalisation (FAEC), incorporating Likes, Shares, Amens, Reposts and Estimated Aunt Exposure.

Engagement is float-adjusted to exclude interactions from the constituent's own operator, from bot networks other than the constituent itself, and from the Committee.

Amens are weighted at 1.4 times a Like, reflecting their higher conviction. A Share by a relative is weighted at 2.0. A comment reading “so true” is weighted at 2.5 and is considered a strong buy signal.

Individual constituent weights are capped at 10% at each rebalance. Shrimp Jesus is exempt from this cap on the grounds of systemic importance.

Constituents are assigned to one of thirteen sectors under the Global Slop Classification Standard (GSCS). Assignment is based on the constituent's principal source of engagement rather than its subject matter, which is why a shark is an Industrial.

Italian exposure is assessed by the Committee on the basis of narration cadence and is unrelated to the constituent's actual origin, nationality or language. No constituent of the Italian Industrials sector is Italian.

The index is reviewed quarterly or whenever Facebook discovers a new image model.

Extraordinary rebalances may be called by the Committee following the emergence of a new format (for example, an animal combined with a vehicle), a new distribution channel (for example, an agent that posts to other agents) or a new emotion.

Rebalance announcements are made after the close of the pre-dawn session.

Constituents may be removed from the index where:

1. 7.1anatomy becomes consistently correct;
2. 7.2the content becomes genuinely useful;
3. 7.3humans begin enjoying it intentionally;
4. 7.4engagement falls below aunt-adjusted liquidity thresholds;
5. 7.5the constituent is found to have been made by a person, on purpose, for a reason.

Removal is not a judgement on the constituent's cultural merit, which the Committee does not assess and could not measure.

The SLOP500 Ratings division assigns each constituent a rating from AAA to HUMAN, reflecting the Committee's assessment of its capacity to generate engagement while providing negligible informational value.

Ratings are forward-looking opinions and not statements of fact. They are, however, more reliable than most statements of fact currently circulating on the platforms concerned.

The index is calculated in real time during global slop market hours, which are continuous. The index level is the sum of constituent Float-Adjusted Engagement Capitalisations divided by the index divisor, which is adjusted to maintain continuity across corporate actions such as renaming, deletion and reappearance under a different account.

The index base value of 100 was set at 1 January 2022, shortly before the discovery of Loab.

The Committee comprises seven members, of whom at least four must be human. This requirement is under review.

Past slop is not indicative of future slop. Nothing in this document constitutes financial, spiritual, culinary or anatomical advice. The index is satirical, its constituents are fictional or are fictional depictions, and any resemblance to an investable product is intentional but not actionable.